9 Signs That It’s Time to Hire In-Home Care for an Elderly Parent or Loved One

Written by Anna Bullough

You want what’s best for your aging loved one. You want them to be safe and well cared for. And so far, that’s meant a lot of care and attention from you.

The doctor appointments, pills, insurance, hygiene care, meals, cleaning, companionship, and finances, have all fallen on you as you manage the affairs of your elderly parent. And you’re still trying to live your own life.

It’s emotionally difficult watching an elderly parent decline. But it’s also logistically difficult, and takes a tremendous toll on you as a caregiver.

Talking to your aging parent about hiring help can cause them stress because they feel comfortable in the care and routine you’ve provided.

But being their sole caregiver may not be the best option for you or your parent moving forward.

This article will help you determine if hiring senior services is right for you and your parent. You’ll also learn tips for navigating the hiring process of home care services, and tips for managing a gentle conversation with your parent.

For those looking to hire home care for elderly parents in Utah, learn more about senior services in Davis county and Weber county her e > >

Do You Need Help Caring for Your Aging Parents?

As you determine the right situation for your elderly mother or father, it can be difficult to know if you’re making the best choice. Using this information as a guide, you can be confident in your decision for your loved one.

Consider these signs when deciding how to help your parents safely age at home.

For Elderly Living Alone:

Memory changes

Your parent doesn’t need an Alzheimer’s or dementia diagnosis to start demonstrating signs of forgetfulness. As soon as you hear about missed appointments, financial troubles, or an increase in general forgetfulness, pay attention to what might be changing. These may be an indicator of true memory loss, which can lead to dangerous behaviors like forgetting to eat or taking too much medication. Whether your loved one is skipping breakfast or double dosing on insulin, memory problems can create very serious safety risks for them. Memory concerns can also impact financial management. Watch for warning signs like bouncing checks or forgetting to pay bills. Listen for comments about missing appointments or social engagements. Missed appointments can come from forgetfulness, but they can also be a sign of other needs, like increased difficulty getting dressed or challenges driving. For both memory and self-care concerns, providing additional care may be a matter of safety.

Poor cleanliness, personal care, or hygiene

Declines in personal care can impact your elderly parent’s mood and sense of self-worth. Look for indicators of poor care like the trash filling up, dishes left in the sink for long periods of time, or a fridge full of spoiled food. Maybe your father isn’t shaving regularly or your mother isn’t caring for her hair the way she used to. Also, watch for signs of bathroom accidents. Home services for the elderly take care of many of these tasks to ease stress on your parent and give them their personal dignity back.

Health concerns

Changes in health can hit at any time for an aging parent, but some health changes can impact their ability to continue caring for themselves. If your parent has any difficulty standing on his or her own, a caregiver needs to regularly check on them to make sure they’re not stuck for hours or days unable to stand after a fall. Look for unexplained injuries or bruising that may be a sign of balance issues and occasional falling. Consistently getting lost, frustrated, confused, or extreme mood swings can be an early sign of Alzheimer’s. Signs of weight loss or weight gain can be indicators of inconsistent meals. If medications become too complicated to manage independently, support can ensure they’re getting what they need when they need it. And some elderly individuals dip into a depression that can lead to suicidal thoughts that you should manage with care. If you have any concerns about the health or safety of your loved one, it’s time to talk about providing them additional support or senior care in the home.

Car accidents

For many seniors, losing their right to drive can be a devastating hit to their personal independence. But not only is unsafe driving a risk to their well-being, but it also puts other families on the road at risk. If you’re noticing dents or scratches on their car, it is worth questioning if they need transportation support. Simply taking a parent’s keys away and leaving them isolated throughout the day is not the answer. Provide them an alternate means of transportation that helps them (and others) stay safe. With home care transportation support they can maintain their independence and ability to get out of the house.

Seclusion, depression, or boredom

If your parent is a widow or widower, lack of regular companionship can be dangerous for their mental and emotional health. Even if your parent is able to maintain general care for him or herself, they still need companionship. Hiring home services can be especially helpful if your parent lives far distances from you.

Wandering

If an aging loved one starts to wander, this is a clear sign that living alone without support is dangerous. After only one experience wandering you should take action. Don’t wait until your loved one gets seriously lost or hurt before you talk with them about the safety concerns of wandering. If your parent becomes lost or confused about their location, you should to talk with them about making changes to their living arrangements and caregiver support.

When your loved one’s needs increase, like the factors listed above, it may be time to call in some support.

If you’re already providing this support and their needs continue to increase, you may want additional support to help you care for your parent. Here are some factors to consider if you’re currently providing care and need additional help.

For Elderly Living with You:

You are experiencing burnout, stress, or anxiety

There is always a sense that you could be “doing more.” That cloud hangs over your head filled with guilt. But when you don’t have more to give, and your own quality of life is diminishing, calling in some help is NOT giving your loved one “less.” You cannot adequately care for your loved one if it’s causing you negativity or harm. Increased stress or anxiety will have rippling impacts on your relationship with your parent, the care you can provide them, and every other aspect of your life. Find a caregiver you trust. Look for someone who will love and respect your aging parent in partnership with you, and will give you the permission you need to improve your quality of life and your parent’s. If you are ready to hire some support and want to be sure you provide equal or better care than you’ve provided, start with a phone call. Get to know the staff at your local senior services agencies. And find one that will be an extension of you.

You’re unable to fulfill your other responsibilities

When the level of care your loved one needs becomes so heavy that it negatively impacts your health, work, finances, and relationships, you should consider at-home health care services. Especially if you are unable to continue working or caring for your own children, you need to consider the long-term impact of your current situation and what is best for everyone involved.

You’re unequipped to give them the care they need

If you want to provide a place for mom or dad where they are safe and have all of their needs met, you may not be able to do that on your own. If your loved one has serious physical or cognitive concerns, professional support, including nursing care, can provide them with senior services to care for their individual needs.

Next Steps for Hiring Help

If home care services are right for you, here are a few simple steps to help you find the support you need:

Determine what services or caregiver support you need.
Look up services for home care in your area.
Make a short list of 3-5 home care companies that provide the services you need.
Call each company to get a better feel for their culture and to get a financial quote.
Ask the company what background checks they perform on each staff member.
Make sure you can afford the elderly care services you need.
Meet with members of your favorite one to make sure you feel comfortable with them in person.
Ask the home care provider for a detailed list of exactly what care or services they will provide.
Hire support for a trial run.
Continue services as needed.

Services to Consider

Health care: doctor appointments, in-home checkups, physical therapy support, medication management

Personal care: hygiene support, bathroom support, dressing, eating

Emotional support: activities and outings, companionship

Household care: shopping and cooking, cleaning and laundry

Transportation: rides to appointments and activities

Talking To Your Parent About Home Care Services

If you are seeing any of the warning signs above, it’s time to have a talk with your parent. And it’s important to start that chat sooner than later to avoid reaching a crisis point without a plan.

If hiring senior care in-home services is a delicate subject for your aging parent, here are some tips for approaching the conversation with care:

Avoid making your parent feel defensive. Your conversation about additional support should not make your parent feel that they’ve made a mistake or have done anything wrong. This will cause them to put up barriers for any solution you might recommend. You may want to start by casually bringing up some of the warning signs that you’ve noticed. Ask if they’ve noticed the same thing. Ask what they think might be happening. If they acknowledge what you’ve noticed, you can ask what they think is the best possible solution. Inviting them into the conversation gently without pushing a decision is a helpful way to get them on board. If they didn’t know about the concerns, or they disagree with your observations, carefully point out a few concrete examples. Avoid arguing. If the conversation becomes an argument, you may need to pause the discussion and bring it up again in the moment of a clear example showing the need for support.
Reducing an individual’s independence can be a very emotional experience for them. Home-based care helps your loved one get what they need while maintaining as much independence as possible. Emphasizing your desire for your parent to keep their independence through home care services can help them see the benefit of this option to avoid a long-term care facility.
Your parent may be more likely to listen to an authoritative figure. Talk to the doctor prior to the conversation with your parent. Tell the doctor what you have seen and why you are concerned. Then have the conversation with all of you together and allow the doctor to take the lead. Other authoritative figures may also fill this role. Consider involving a respected friend, a hospital social worker, an Aging Life Care Professional (geriatric care manager), or a community representative from an area agency on aging. Give your parent the opportunity to ask this neutral third party individual about the benefits of hiring home care.
Your tone and approach to this conversation will have a big impact on how your parent responds. Imagine the roles reversed and speak to them how you would like someone to talk to you. Be careful not to talk with your parent as though they’re a child – avoid any patronizing language. Express love and concern and support, but respect your parent’s perspective and concerns as well. Ultimately, your parent may require support even if they don’t want it. This is not always the case, but especially when it is, you must handle the conversation with extra care.

9 Signs That It’s Time to Hire In-Home Care for an Elderly Parent or Loved One